Okay, we’ve already established that Foursquare is a bizarre byproduct of the Age of Oversharing. For those of you who missed that last episode, Foursquare is the new GPS-powered trend where people “check-in” at locations throughout their city, and publish their current coordinates on Facebook, Twitter, and other social media sites.

When I told a female friend about Foursquare, the first words out of her mouth were, “So you’re giving someone instructions on where to stalk you?” I hadn’t thought of that – mainly because I’m a man, and for guys, the thought of a woman stalking us is something of a turn-on. That’s right – Fatal Attraction is male fantasy porn. Learn something new every day, don’t ya, ladies? Consider this sexual roleplay advice free of charge. (“You be Dan, and I’ll be Alex…”)

Anyhoo. No one (that I know of) has put together an application based on Foursquare that allows people to stalk you based on your coordinate trail. Which is scary enough. But there is a site that will help them make sure your home is nice and spacious once you return! Please Rob Me scrapes Twitter announcements that Foursquare users have left the building, so that thieves know which empty homes to target.

“But Zero,” you may ask (because you know that being called by my Internet sobriquet makes me squee), “how do the thieves know where these users live?” Well, go to Please Rob Me. Click on a few Twitter accounts. Tell me how long it takes you to find a Foursquare user who’s published the coordinates of his house on his Twitter sidebar.

It took me two clicks.

I think I preferred the Bad Old Days of the Internet, when oversharing was confined to shitty marriages and genital warts.

Uncategorized crime, fatal attraction, foursquare, internet, robbery, social media, stalking, web 2.0

I need schooling. Specifically, I need someone to explain the appeal of Foursquare, a.k.a. the TMI of GPS.

For those of you who are unaware (lucky bastards), Foursquare is a mobile application where you “check in” upon arriving at a destination. As you accumulate check-ins, you win prizes, or “badges.” Check-in to a single location enough, and you’re declared its “Mayor.”

For the record? The first friend who attempts to become the Mayor of my apartment earns himself an ass-kicking.

If you’re on Facebook or Twitter and have any friends with a half-modern mobile phone, chances are you’ve seen your share of Foursquare check-ins. Personally, whenever one floats through my media-stream, I think of “The Game,” that Star Trek: The Next Generation episode where the crew of the Enterprise gets addicted to a headset that doles out warm tinglies for every point scored. All that’s missing is the brain-jack. Seratonin for iPhone, anyone?

Oh, sure. Call me jealous. Dismiss my complaints as the bleating of a technophile wannabe whose current cell phone looks like a prize from a box of Cracker Jacks. (No, those aren’t tears. Got sumpthin’ in my eye. Shut up.) But really, guys – I don’t care where you are. I mean, I care in a general way. You at home? Work? On a trip to the Bahamas? At a convention listening to a life-altering speaker? That’s great – let us know. That’s newsworthy among friends. But I don’t need latitude and longitude. I don’t give a shit that your hankering for day-old corn dogs has made you Mayor of the 7-11 at 91st and Roosevelt. I’m your friend, man – not your professional stalker. For that, I charge extra.

David Kornik, a Foursquare user, ponders the impact this game will have on privacy. Do we want Big Brother – whose role, formerly occupied by the government, is now being played by Corporate America – to know our every moment? Oddly, that doesn’t bother me. I’m a TMI kind of guy who’d happily trade privacy for a big red shiny. Give all the information to Corporate America you want, my lovely online friends. Just don’t give it to me. Friends don’t tell friends their coordinates.

Uncategorized foursquare, gps, mobile, privacy, star trek, technology