School administrators in Pennsylvania’s Lower Marion School District continue to play a game of Let’s Not Get Fired, as the laptop spy scandal fails to fall out of the news. You’ll remember that student Blake J. Robbins and his parents sued the district, accusing them of remotely activating the webcam built into Robbins’ school-provided laptop and taking pictures of him at home. Vice Principal Lynn Matsko held a press conference on Wednesday and angrily denied that she had disciplined Robbins for behavior at home, and had never “authorized” anyone to snap stills of him.

Robbins and his family, for their parts, noted that nothing Matsko said was inconsistent with their lawsuit: they never accused Matsko of  “authorizing” anything, and Robbins was never disciplined. And, pointedly, Matsko never disavowed that she had a picture of Robbins in his home, where he was supposedly using or selling pills.

I doubt we’ll see anything resembling the truth on this issue until it makes its way to trial. The school seems intent on not coming clean. The lawyerly evasions, however, make it clear that they fucked up – and they know it. It’d be great if the Robbins negotiated a settlement with the District: come clean, and all is forgiven. What’s important here is not that everyone associated with this catastrophe get fired (I don’t wish that on anyone in this economy), but that there be a full accounting. And that it never. Happen. Again.

In a ray of good news, the software used by the school, called LANRev,  was recently replaced by Absolute Software. The new version, Computrace, requires customers to contact the company with a police report before it activates webcam security. In other words, as with most school districts, Lower Marion’s computer software was woefully out of date. Shocking, but true!

Uncategorized apple, blake j. robbins, laptops, lower marion school district, lynn matsko, privacy, security, webcam

I waited a few days to talk about The Case of The Remotely-Activated Laptops in order to see how it would play out. For those of you who’ve been living in a cave (or, equivalently, shacking up with Sarah Palin), the Lower Marion School District in Pennsylvania issued Macintosh laptops to its students equipped with webcams that could be remotely activated. That’s right – school officials could spy on students and their families at home. Lower Marion has admitted to turning on the cameras a total of 42 times – but only, it insists, to recover lost or stolen laptops, or laptops that were taken off campus without permission.

According to the Durango Herald, the district ensured that only two employees in the IT department could snap the pho-tee-graphs. For its part, the district denies the allegation in the lawsuit Blake J Robbins v Lower Merion School District (PA) et al that Harriton High School Assistant Principal Lindy Matsko told student Blake Robbins she saw him popping pills via the webcam. It also insists that the remote-access feature has been disabled, so nothing to see here, move along now. All that the district will apologize for was failing to tell parents that they could snap shots of them walking through their kitchen bare-ass naked without warning.

Translation: “While we would love to spy on anyone within photo radius of our laptops, these ‘privacy’ dorks have made that impossible. Thanks a LOT, Internet.”

So here’s the Q: if Blake J. Robbins and his parents are liars, how did they find out about the tracking program? The school admits it didn’t tell parents about the software. (Hint to LMSD: If you’re afraid to tell people you have the ability to spy on them, that means IT’S A SHITTY IDEA IN THE FIRST PLACE.) The District hasn’t explained that, preferring a “Look, Shiny Object!” strategy over openness and transparency.

“Openness” and “transparency” are what’s been lacking here from start to finish. Not to mention common sense. Who’s checking on these two IT geeks holding the keys to the kingdom? Where’s the review process to ensure they’re not abusing their James Bond authori-tah? Why couldn’t parents be told this software existed? Did no one in the District think about the implications of their cameras capturing images of non-students? Why not use a GPS tracking system instead? If you can afford MacBooks for over 1,800 students, you can afford to stick a GPS device in there, for Chrissakes.

Perhaps the District can explain all that to the FBI, which is investigating whether Lower Marion violated the Electronic Communications Privacy Act (ECPA).

Consider that Hint #2, folks.

It amazes me that any responsible company would even offer this service. And yet, they do. Wanna take bets on how long until this feature’s yanked off the market?

Uncategorized apple, blake j. robbins, ecpa, electronic communications privacy act, laptops, lower marion school district, macbook, macintosh, privacy

Caveat: Alex Jones is a bit of a whackadoodle. Jones is a libertarian conspiracy theorist who has a radio show (surprise) and runs a Web site called Prison Planet, which counsels its readers on how to buy gold and survive martial law under Barack Obama.

But I love whackadoodles in the same way I love stopped clocks. Besides, this write up on Prison Planet about security screeners at Heathrow passing around naked scans of a Bollywood star is right up my alley. Privacy! Nudity! Hot Indian guy with GREAT weave! What’s not to like??

The skinny is that Heathrow has installed full body x-ray scanners that let inspectors peek under suspect’s passenger’s clothes as they pass through security. The scan is printed out and combed over before suspects passengers are allowed to their gate. Britons ballyhooed over what would become of these printouts. Legislators swore up and down that they would be shredded as soon as the inspectors were done ogling the suspects (I give up).

Only, not so much. Indian movie star Shahrukh Khan noticed female screeners staring at his printout. Being a good sport, he autographed the x-ray of his ample manhood. Now Prison Planet and its attendant conspiracy of conspiracy theorists are in an uproar that these “professional” screeners are passing around the prints like they’re high-tech airport porn. Invasion of our privacy! Violation of freedom! Why, if I want to smuggle a nuclear bomb on board a plane, that’s my RIGHT! And yada yada yada.

Oh, calm down, libertarians – I joke. You’re absolutely right that this is a gross violation of civil liberties. We were born into this world naked, and it’s our God-given right to be ashamed of that.

What I don’t understand is why more people aren’t excited about this story. Dude, someone FUCKING INVENTED X-RAY GLASSES!!

You’re with me, right, guys? Sure you are. You remember placing the order for those X-Ray Specs from the back of The Amazing Spider-Man, only to slap them on four to six weeks later and go, “Well, shit, this is disappointing.” Now some of our childhood friends have created The Real Deal, and all we can do is whine about privacy? This is true science-fiction cool, folks. We’re talking tea-Earl-Gray-hot cool.

No, huh?

Ah, well. Maybe it’s true what they say: something dies inside of you after you mail your first rent check.

Uncategorized alex jones, heathrow airport, london, privacy, security, terrorism

I need schooling. Specifically, I need someone to explain the appeal of Foursquare, a.k.a. the TMI of GPS.

For those of you who are unaware (lucky bastards), Foursquare is a mobile application where you “check in” upon arriving at a destination. As you accumulate check-ins, you win prizes, or “badges.” Check-in to a single location enough, and you’re declared its “Mayor.”

For the record? The first friend who attempts to become the Mayor of my apartment earns himself an ass-kicking.

If you’re on Facebook or Twitter and have any friends with a half-modern mobile phone, chances are you’ve seen your share of Foursquare check-ins. Personally, whenever one floats through my media-stream, I think of “The Game,” that Star Trek: The Next Generation episode where the crew of the Enterprise gets addicted to a headset that doles out warm tinglies for every point scored. All that’s missing is the brain-jack. Seratonin for iPhone, anyone?

Oh, sure. Call me jealous. Dismiss my complaints as the bleating of a technophile wannabe whose current cell phone looks like a prize from a box of Cracker Jacks. (No, those aren’t tears. Got sumpthin’ in my eye. Shut up.) But really, guys – I don’t care where you are. I mean, I care in a general way. You at home? Work? On a trip to the Bahamas? At a convention listening to a life-altering speaker? That’s great – let us know. That’s newsworthy among friends. But I don’t need latitude and longitude. I don’t give a shit that your hankering for day-old corn dogs has made you Mayor of the 7-11 at 91st and Roosevelt. I’m your friend, man – not your professional stalker. For that, I charge extra.

David Kornik, a Foursquare user, ponders the impact this game will have on privacy. Do we want Big Brother – whose role, formerly occupied by the government, is now being played by Corporate America – to know our every moment? Oddly, that doesn’t bother me. I’m a TMI kind of guy who’d happily trade privacy for a big red shiny. Give all the information to Corporate America you want, my lovely online friends. Just don’t give it to me. Friends don’t tell friends their coordinates.

Uncategorized foursquare, gps, mobile, privacy, star trek, technology